The Olympians

It’s 2012 and it’s the Olympics in London,
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven’t got tickets.
The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate.
“McTavish, Scotland,” he says, “Discus” and in he walks.
The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder.
“Waddington-Smythe, England ” he says, “Pole vault” and in he walks.
The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm. “O’Malley, Ireland ” he says, “Fencing.”

from Wendy & Noel Hickey

Mystery Man

Three scotswomen are walking home at night (they are neighbors) and find
a scotsman passed out partially under a wagon. His upper body is
under the wagon and they can’t see who he is; however, they would like to
help him get home.
The first woman looks under his kilt and says, “It’s not
my husband”.
The second woman
looks under his kilt and says, It’s not my husband”.
The third woman looks under his kilt and says, “Why he’s not
even from our village!”

Jack Yule (heard at Spanish Peaks Celtic Fest)

Dub Grub

Sign in a Dublin shop: OReilly’s Kentucky Fried Chicken.
If Colonel Sanders had had our recipe He’d have been a general!